A Little Distance, A Lot of Doubt

I've been at my new job for a month now, and just recently started working from home a few days a week- last Tuesday, then again this Tuesday, and today (Friday). It's only been a few days total, but even the small shift has brought up a lot of unexpected feelings.

On the surface, working from home sounds like a dream. And don't get me wrong-there's comfort in rolling out of bed and straight into my work day, coffee in hand and no commute. But underneath that ease is this weird sense of isolation and self-doubt I didn't expect.

When I'm in the office, it's simple to swing by someone's desk, ask a question, feel connected. At home, every little thing feels like a bigger step-picking up the phone instead of tapping someone on the shoulder, wondering if I'm calling to much or asking something I "should already know."

Even though I've been here a short time, I've been asking questions constantly. Everyone has been incredibly kind and reassuring, always reminding me I'm still doing great. But still, there's this little voice in the back of my mind whispering, Are you sure they're not just being nice? What if they think you're annoying? What if they regret hiring you?

I know it's not true. I know they don't think less of me. But self-doubt doesn't always listen to logic.

What I'm learning is that working from home-even just a few days a week- can amplify those inner thoughts. Without the in-person smiles or quick "you got this" from a coworker, it's easy to spiral a bit. But I'm also realizing that it's okay to feel this way. It's okay to be new. It's okay to ask questions. It's ok to need reassurance.

It's only been a few work-from-home days, and I'm still figuring things out. I'm trying to remind myself that it's ok to not have all the answers yet. That needing help or asking questions doesn't make me any less capable. It just means I care-and that I'm learning. And maybe that's more than enough right now.